beautiful day

Today the sun shone. There was only one thing for it. We headed to the beach. It was, as expected, a little hard to find parking. The first sunny day of February everyone pretends that it's July. I can't really blame them. Clad in a t-shirt, jeans, and an unzipped fleece I was doing the same thing. The boats were out. This is as close to them as I could get. Maybe one day I'll be able to take this shot looking back at the shore.

Eventually we found a spot in the parking lot everyone always forgets about and trekked down the railroad tracks to the beach and then on to our real destination, Moby Dick's, still home to the best fish & chips you've ever eat. As long as you order the tartar sauce. You might think that you don't like tartar sauce but the truth is that you simply don't like regular tartar sauce. The dill-infused, home-made concoction at Moby's is in another category altogether.

See how I'm smiling in this pic? It's because I know we remembered to get the sauce. And also because in February it's warm enough to eat outside (even though technically it's only warm enough out of the wind, but shhhh, we won't talk about that.) I was also trying to get a pic of my new haircut -- does anything feel as great as a fresh haircut? -- but it didn't really work. The wind was doing me no favors. This pic from yesterday is better (but then it's always better when the hairdresser does it). I don't know if I have the patience to straighten it, time will tell.

On the way down to Moby Dick's we past my favorite staircase in White Rock. I'd always meant to take a picture of it and finally today I had my camera with me.

I love that this art, a group community project, is entirely unnecessary. Who takes the time to decorate the risers on a concrete stair case? And yet it's so pretty. If you're not careful you can walk right past and miss it. If you take the time to stand back and look at it from a little distance you can see that it's mostly on large picture. I wish I had been around when they were working on this but it was before my time.

All in all, it was a pretty great day. The sun is starting to go down now and it's definitely not warm enough for short sleeves, but that's OK. I'm back at home, cup of tea in hand and cozy blanket not far away. It will be spring and then summer eventually. I can wait.

valentine's anyway

I know, I know, it's days too late, but Happy Valentine's Day anyway. Is it ever really too late to feel the love? (Actually, yes I think it can be, but that's a short story waiting to be written another day.) At my house we celebrated with sugar cookies with pink icing for nieces' classes and beautiful, delicious, Lindt chocolate covered strawberries for the grown-ups. Yuuuuuuuummmmmmmmy. True, it's not quite as good as actually being in love on the pink and red-est day of the year but it certainly takes the edge off :) I am a long way from being alone, and I am thankful for that all the days of the year.

Many years ago I wrote an article on How to Write a Love Letter for work, and it still cracks me up that it remains one of the most popular articles on the site. How do you spell irony? If you do a Google search on the topic you'll get over 9 million results and you'll see my article there at #7 on the first page. So it looks like I'm getting a little Google love too.

Love is strange thing, it cannot be earned and is never deserved. It can be both lost and found, can cause both pain and joy. Love can be everything and yet sometimes love is not enough. You can loose yourself in love, be rescued by it, drown in it and find a better version of yourself inside it. They say love conquers all, but they also say that love comes softly. Love can be a declaration and also only whisper. Love grows with knowledge but can thrive in ignorance. It is strong and fragile, fleeting and longsuffering, a beginning and a destination. Shakespeare wrote "journeys end in lovers meeting" but so often the journey has only just begun. No wonder the poets have so much to say on the topic.

If you're not maxed out on love poetry from this past week, these are two of my personal favorites:

An excerpt from Pablo Neruda's Sonnet XVII (and yes, it was in Patch Adams, it's still great poetry)

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

And Leonard Cohen's "Dance Me to the End of Love"

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove
And dance me to the end of love
Yeah, dance me to the end of love

Oh let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone
Let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon
Show me slowly what I only know the limits of
And dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love

Dance me to the wedding now, dance me on and on
Dance me very tenderly and dance me very long
We're both of us beneath our love... both of us above
And dance me to the end of love
Yeah, dance me to the end of love

Dance me to the children who are asking to be born
Dance me through the curtains that our kisses have outworn
Raise a tent of shelter now, though every thread is torn
And dance me to the end of love

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic till I'm gathered safely in
Touch me with your naked hand... touch me with your glove
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love

everything I need

As I kid I loved kits and as an adult I still love them – make a minature teddy bear kits, needlework kits, those crazy little tea for two kits they sell at Chapters. There’s something incredibly appealing about a whole project in a box with all the bits you need gathered in one place.

I remember as a kid getting huge project and craft books from the library and hardly ever making anything out of them. There was always one unusual item that brought the project to a screeching halt. Whether it was strips of balsa wood for the how to make a kite book or glycerin for making soap, the books were like desert mirages. They seemed so close and shimmery but ultimately the projects were a world away.

No so with kits. Suddenly there is more than just instructions and a few oddments meted out. There is an immediacy of potential – you can get started anytime you want and you know you’ll be able to finish because it’s all right here, even the hard to get parts. You never have to worry about running out of supplies because it’s all been carefully portioned out.

There is bliss is starting out an adventure when you know you’ve got everything you need.

I sometimes wish there was a “How to be a Grown-Up” kit. I wonder what they’d put in it? Perfectly portioned responsibility probably, a nice big piece of experience, a multitude of little threads of memories. I can picture a hefty hank of love and a heavy block of time. There would be great comfort in knowing that you weren’t going to run out.

Life isn’t like that. And at the end of the day I’m glad it’s not so proscribed. After all the thing with kits is, you don’t get to choose. You’ll have a piece of fabric for sure, and it will be enough but it might be blue or it might be brown. All you get is what’s in the box. It takes more work to gather the pieces yourself, but there can be great joy in the search and in the choosing. And as long as I can discern need from want, I’m pretty sure that at the end of the day I’ll find I’ve ended up with everything I need.

love comes in many forms

Mmm. . . look what was delivered today -- fresh Peruvian fair trade Cafe Pangoa, espresso roast of course. All dark and silky, it smells of Heaven. Must be love.

vertical snowmen are so 2007

In honor of the snow yesterday (I'm trying) Nicole and I made a snowman. Well, technically with the eyelashes and fancy pendant necklace I'm pretty sure it was a snowGIRL. Anyway, I didn't have time to take a picture of it yesterday so I headed over this afternoon to get the shot. As I approached the driveway I was disappointed -- it looked like our snowy creation had lost her head. But on closer inspection, turns out she was just having a good stretch.


At first I thought she was doing yoga (she is a west coast citizen after all) but Coli had an even better suggestion. She thinks our snowgal is doing the YMCA and I have to say, she's got a pretty good C going on there. Who knew we were building a snow-retro-party-girl? She's all set for good times in 2008. And so are we :)

blue sky baby

After an unexpected sprinkling of snow yesterday, this morning we woke up to this. Blue skies. I had just about forgotten what they looked like. It was so clear that on the drive to church I saw mountains I'd never seen before. I knew we had peaks on two sides out here. Turns out that on a clear day we have them on three. It was hard to keep my eyes on the road.

I was hoping to take my shiny new toy out for a spin and see if I could shoot a panorama but I couldn't quite get the right vantage point for a clear shot. I tried the airport, but the ground dips just there and the buildings got in the way. Pesky buildings. I headed to the park at the end of the street but the bird's nest shot above turned out better than any of the mountain shots. Trust me, this does not do it justice:It turned out to be a good day for experimenting, just not one for having much to show for it. I'm running into trouble with lighting when shooting indoors. I don't know yet if it's a setting I've got wrong or if the factory issue flash just isn't going to cut it. I've been trying to get a photo of the camera itself and so far this is the best I've got:

And yes, it's photoshopped within an inch of it's life to try and salvage something from what was a not-great shot to begin with. Note to self: if you're going to take self portraits of the camera, clean the mirror first. There's very little detail on the camera itself, but hey, my nails look great :) I was pretty impressed to see anything at all. In the initial viewing this shot was a black square with a flash spot in the middle. They say experience is a great teacher. Good thing, I've got a lot to learn.

how to keep tulips upright

I love tulips and here on the west coast we get these trumpeted harbingers of Spring much earlier than we should. I can never resist them. But year after year I bring them home and the same thing happens -- they fall over. I've tried tall vases, short vases, pennies in the water, a pinhole just under the head. Nothing has worked until just the other day.

I saw the first tulips of the season and had to have some. I asked the florist, Lucy, if she had any tips on how to keep them upright. She did and as you can see from the photo above it worked! (The tulips had been indoors more than 24 hours at the time the photo was taken. It's now another six hours later and they haven't moved.) Let me share her wisdom.

Lucy's failsafe tulip method:

1. Choose the straightest tulips you can find. If they're curved to begin with, this isn't going to work.
2. Do not trim the ends when you get them home.
3. Place 3-4 pennies per bunch in the vase (there are 4 bunches above so 16 pennies).
4. Fill the vase with cold, COLD water. Use ice water from the fridge if you have it.
5. When you change the water, keep using cold water.

According to Lucy what usually happens with tulips is that they suck up too much water which weighs down the head and bends them over. The combination of a sealed end and cold water keeps water intake to a minimum and will prolong the beauty of your cut tulips. (Adding a foundation plant like daisies also helps to give them something to lean against.)

Pretty, pretty, pretty. Does this mean it's Spring?

I won!

This past weekend Gord & Torrey got me hooked on, I mean introduced me to, the wonderful world of online Carcassone. (The first one's always free...) After being beaten resoundingly by both of them (and several bots) today at lunch I finally, FINALLY won a game. Check it out. That's a 64 point city close to the middle and it's mine, all mine.


If you enjoy the traditional tile version of the game and want to play with people who don't live in your house, I highly recommend AsoBrain's online games. They're free, played in real time with a private chat for each game and you don't even get bombarded with lame-o ads. Settlers also available.

christmas in pictures

I have a head full of cotton wool courtesy of my first official cold/flu of the new year so this post is mostly pictures. (And apparently I've also reverted to British-isms. Cotton wool? Surely I haven't called it that since I was six.)

This Christmas was awesome! For the first time in several years I got to go home to Ontario to spend the holidays with Mom & Dad and even better, I got to bring a few friends along. Kendra came, along with her sister Shannon, her husband Gord and their two girls Amanda and Nicole whom I have the great privilege of calling my extra nieces.
While in Ontario, we headed out to historic Petrolia to tour the Victorian houses. It had been just the right mix of cold and wet and the whole town was edged with the most amazing hoar frost.

It was great to get outside after a couple of days indoors, eating, talking and celebrating.

While at the farm, I even got to visit with my favorite fur-person.

It's amazing how much you can miss someone so small. I can't wait until I can have her back with me out west. It made my heart happy to spend some time with her and to see with my eyes what I've known in my heart -- that she is well loved and taken care of in the interim.

No trip to Ontario would be complete without a visit to the world famous Niagara Falls so well all piled into the van and off we went. I've seen Niagara many times before, but it is always spectacular and somehow, always a bit of a surprise.

After a morning at the Falls we took the wine route over to Niagara-on-the-Lake. The teddy bear store I remembered from my last trip there is gone, but Maple Leaf Fudge is still going strong. Thank goodness for that. We had a superb lunch in an Irish tea house and then Dad went on walkabout while Mom and I browsed the shops. Is there anything more wonderful than walking around an interesting place with your Mom on a Thursday afternoon when everyone else is at work?
After Niagara we headed to Toronto to catch a flight to Winnipeg. Kendra and the Wall family went to visit Gord's parents and I stayed in the city for a few days with Janie, Dave and Corrina.

I swear that kid gets cuter every time I see her. Corrina's second implant is all healed-up and working well and I am continually in awe of her progress. I cannot imagine how much work Dave & Jane have put into getting her this far. We spent a lively few days playing games -- I won Pass the Brain but lost Carcassone. (I did tell Dave that I knew enough to play, just not enough to win. Somehow my farmland always ends up being useless. Or Dave muscles me off it and I don't notice til we go to add it all up.) Janie showed me how to make pendant necklaces from Shrinky-Dink of all things. I'll post picks once I've got them completed.

While in Winnipeg I learned, once again, that prarie cold is a whole new universe of cold. When Dave and I walked down to Don's Photo to go camera shopping (more on that in another post) I told him I didn't want to wear the hat with earflaps because "I don't really do hats". It was less than 24 hours later that I was pleading for the hat and Dave, being a merciful brother, handed it over without saying a word.

New Year's eve I donned three pairs of pants, the hat, a scarf & mitts to go and watch the fireworks over the Forks. And it was worth it. The next day we headed over to friends of D&J's for brunch and sledding. Great waffles, good times.

I know I put way too much highlight on this one, but I loved the blue snow.

I love that not only is she not holding on, she's got her hands in the air. Cause, you know, everything's more fun with your hands in the air. She's Dave & Janie's kid for sure.

I tried to get a 2008 in the snow picture but it turns out that snow is way harder to photograph than sand (see last year's shot). The only way to get it to show at all was to throw the shadows and highlights way out of balance. Too bad, cause the house in this shot is amazing and you can barely see it.All in all it was a pretty close to perfect Christmas and we all came home tired and happy. Sleep well sleepy girl. I'll see you soon.

great start to 2008

I forgot to draw '2008' in the snow and it's too cold to go back outside now (I'm in Winnipeg) so I think I'll use this shot to usher in the new year. I bought myself a shiny new camera yesterday. This shot isn't from the new toy, but it's still one of my favorites from this trip. Thanks to Dave & Jane for the loan of your PowerShot.I hope your year is off to a great start. I need to get back to reading the manual.

what christmas looks like

I think there's a set of rules somewhere that govern the photos common to all blogs. If it snows, you must post two (2) photos -- one showing the accumulation and the other showing at least one member of your family, out in the snow with the universal expression for "oh my goodness it's snowing!"I have these photos, check. Another on the list is surely the ubiquitous Christmas tree shot, which is awesome because I love seeing other people's trees. I didn't have one of those yet, so I'm remedying that today.

I am strongly in the real tree camp when it comes to Christmas trees (although there will always been a place in my heart for the faux one we grew up with). This year with travel over the holidays and concerns about an unattended, and thereby un-watered tree we decided to look for an alternate. Inspired by Shannon's centerpiece from a couple of weeks ago we decided on a updated version of "sticks in a vase". The resulting tree is certainly nontraditional, but I find it charming nonetheless:I'm having some focus issues with my camera at the moment, but you get the general idea. The big present Christmases are all happening elsewhere this year so while this is a smaller tree it suits our purposes well.

This is definitely the first year that I've paid attention to the weight of ornaments. There are a few favorites that were simply too much for the tree this year but I was amazed at how many we managed to get on. I'm not really sure where the top of this roundish tree is, and the star wouldn't have fit anyway so I added a little robin near-ish to the top. A British tree has to have a robin somewhere. I got the first part of my Willowtree nativity for Christmas last year and added the wisemen to it a couple of days ago. I was pleased to find that this place has just the right spot for it.

I've really noticed the lack of fireplace for decorating this year so we've been tucking in a little Christmas here and there. We did manage to find a home for the snowmen. Everything is shiny and sparkly and I love the house with it's little treasures around each corner. Christmas can get pretty complicated but I know that at the heart of it, Christmas is a very simple, quiet moment. At the very heart of the season, this is what Christmas looks like:

someone's feeling Christmas-y

I don't post a lot of memes, but this one made me giggle so I figured it was worth sharing: Courtesy of ICHC (a mostly family-friendly site, but watch out for the tag cloud). Now if only the cute little guy could spell, but seeing as Lolz is practically its own language these days, I'll let it slide. It's Christmas after all.

making waitress pie

Adrienne Shelley's Waitress is a delicious slice of a movie. It tells the story of Jenna, a woman who 'doesn't want any trouble, doesn't want no baby [she] just wants to make pie'. Jenna's pie making is legendary, unfortunately so is her husband. Very early on I found myself gasping at his simple brutality and yet somehow Shelley manages to tell Jenna's story with very little violence.

Waitress is, at heart, a movie with a lot of heart. Jenna, played by Keri Russell, is living a small town life and yet Shelley has refused to give her only small town answers. When Jenna discovers she is pregnant just as the local OB/GYN has semi-retired, Dr. Pottamer walks into her life. When the new doc in town turns out to be Nathan Fillion you think "oh, this is a falling in love with the doctor who's love changes everything" movie. But it isn't. And what it turns out to be is so much better, a real treat like Jenna's Falling in Love pie (even better than her Lonely Chicago pie).

The film is a careful alchemy of campy humor, deep sorrow and moments of incredible tenderness. I have no idea how Shelley pulled it off. In one speech which I'm sure will be long remembered, Jenna, writing to her unborn child says:

Dear Baby, I hope that at some point in your life someone wants to hold you for 20 minutes. And they don't pull away, or look at your face or try to kiss you. They just wrap their arms around you and hold on tight.

Beautifully written, masterfully shot, Waitress is on another level a little hard to watch. The director who also wrote the film and played one of the main characters was murdered just before the film was accepted to Sundance. It is hard to see her there on the screen laughing and creating this amazing story and knowing that she is not around now to see its success.

The story of Waitress is not as easy as pie, it's more complicated than that, but it is every bit as satisfying. Like so many of the pies that play out in the film, the ingredients of this story sound crazy but in loving hands they become an unexpected treat.

even cozier

I was going to say 'even Christmas-i-er' but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Shannon invited us over for dinner and tree decorating on Tuesday. Here's Kendra and I with Coli and Amanda and the finished tree.

And just to prove that we really *did* have snow -- real snow, not BC snow -- here are the ubiquitous "No way! It's snowing!" pics:

It was really piling up. We actually had to buy winter coats this year. They're saying it will be the coldest winter on record. (I almost hope it will be, that coat is like walking around inside a giant hug. When I took it off to go indoors I felt bereft.) It's my first ever coat with thumbholes and the girls are right, thumbholes are made of awesome.
Fleece cuffed sleeves that a) are actually long enough for my arms and b) stay in place. Brilliant. Gone are the days of a cold wind blowing across a bare wrist. Heaven. (If Heaven had snow.) Come to think of it why couldn't Heaven have snow? Maybe they have the snow-that-doesn't-land-on-roads ? I don't know about you, but when I picture Heaven it's always about 10 in the morning, a balmy 22 degrees with the sun shining and just in time for a midmorning cup of tea.

it's getting cozy in here

We broke out the Christmas boxes tonight and it's starting to look very Christmas-y around here. We've decided to go with a rather nontraditional Christmas tree this year and I am delighted with the way it turned out. More photos to come, but this little guy was too sweet to wait.

the faces of aids

December 1 is World AIDS Day. I didn't know that until yesterday morning. Somehow the announcement got lost in all the Christmas commercials.

Back in the summer I started reading Stephanie Nolan's incredible book, 28: Stories of AIDS in Africa. I'm not quite all the way to end yet so I can't add it to the "books read" list but I'd recommend adding it to your reading list if you keep one. Prior to starting this book I thought I had a decent handle on what the faces of AIDS look like. And sadly, I've learned that my view of this far-away-feeling pandemic was tragically small.

It's easy to think of AIDS as an African problem, but it's so much more than that. AIDS is a family where the 11 year old is running the household because there are no relatives left to take care of them. Everyone is dead. AIDS is the doctor no one believed could have 'a disease of the poor'. AIDS is a revolutionary who refused the medications that his compatriots were being denied. AIDS is entire villages of grandmothers who find themselves parenting again and worrying about what will happen when they are gone. The face of AIDS is a woman who contracted the disease from her own husband and was then kicked out for bringing disgrace to his house. AIDS, I'm learning, is unfathomably unfair.

There are some who say that AIDS is a curse, God's vengeance for sin and I for one, am not brave enough to hold to a view like that. If God could punish one sin so violently, how much more could I expect to receive for my sins, which number far more than just one? God doesn't grade on a curve, we know that, and thank Heaven He doesn't. I wrote an article about that a few months back for work, and while it doesn't specifically mention the AIDS pandemic, maybe it's good reading for World AIDS Day, or thereabouts. I know it's a reminder than I need more often than I care to admit.

enchanting

If you haven't seen Enchanted yet, you really should. A delightful fairytale, it delivers many laugh-out-loud moments and refuses to take itself too seriously. If you remember laughing during the original Shrek when the singing bluebirds became breakfast then you're likely to enjoy this movie. Usually it's other people poking fun at Disney but finally they have grown-up enough to do so themselves. We had a great time.

Right now, looking outside my window the snow is moving just as if it were inside a giant snow globe all swirly and light. It is also enchanting. I can appreciate it this morning -- there's nowhere I have to go, and for errands later Shannon's got the Durango. And that thing can drive anywhere. I never understood why so many SUV drivers ended up in the ditch until I had my first ride in a Durango on snowy roads last year. It feels like a tank (or at least the way I would imagine a tank to feel) thoroughly invincible. I can see how it would make you forget that you still need to adjust your driving to the conditions.

I am always at odds with myself when winter finds its way to our fair west coast. I love it and I hate it, almost in equal measure. If could walk anywhere I needed to get to it could snow all it liked. I love the way it blankets the world in white, even if it is a fairytale and the grime of everyday living is only covered over not cleaned away. I love the sparkle and the light. It is magical, there's no denying that. But as Joss Wheadon taught us, magic always has consequences :) If it would just stay off the roads snow and I could be fast friends.

Hmm, snow that falls on the ground but stays off the roads. Now there's a fairytale.

hello old friend

The sun kept the rain at bay today so headed west to visit an old friend. The beach is still there, just where I left it, always changing and ever constant. Everyone abandons the beach November, I don't know why. Its beauty is not diminished by the falling mercury. To me, it is even lovelier this time of year. The sharpness of the air keeps the crowds away and it is quiet enough to hear the waves talk to the shore, quiet enough to notice sunlight on rocks and driftwood.

As soon as I stepped onto the beach, coffee in one hand, book in the other lines from Yates started running through my head. "This is no country for old men. . . . /and so I have sailed the seas and come /to the holy city of Byzantium." This place is my waking lullaby, these rocks, this sand. It is like stepping into the warm embrace of an old friend, a dear friend. And it happens every time.

Everyone has their own soul space, that place where you feel closest to God and this is mine. In the last line of the film version of The Prince of Tides Nick Noltes' character says, "Every day as I cross the bridge that will take me home I say three words. I say them as repentance, as praise and as a prayer. I say Lowenstein, Lowenstein." I often think of that at this beach, it feels like a place for repentance, praise and prayer. Maybe I feel closer to God there simply because it looks so much like Heaven.But it is more than that. Over the years I have come here to celebrate and also to mourn. I have come with friends and alone, in joy and in loneliness. It was at this beach six years ago when Kendra causally said "I think you should move in with us" and I stepped into my first family since leaving Mom & Dad's. This little stretch of beach far away from the busy pier and the fish and chips shops and boutique spas has laid a claim on me. I feel its pull, like the moon calling back the tide. And each time I go back I swear I can hear it whisper "hello old friend".