Monday, January 30, 2006

waiting to be found

Sometimes the truth is just sitting there waiting to be found. About a week ago I was asked a very unexpected question. I was having dinner with some new friends and it came out of nowhere. It wasn't a life changing question (not that question) but I can't seem to get it out of my head. What surprises me the most is how unexpected I'm finding my own answer.

Most people who know me would say that I spend a lot of time inside my own head. How strange then that in something so basic, I don't know myself as well as I thought. Maybe I knew all along and just hadn't said it out loud. Maybe the truth was sitting there, waiting to be found.

I keep thinking that I've fully answered the question and something deeper reveals itself. Walking down the hallway, rounding the corner, there it is, unmistakable. You say you think this, but really what you think is over here. I don't think I've been deceiving myself or intentionally hiding but for whatever reason clarity has come to the surface this week. I have no idea what it means or where it is going. But I'm curious to keep walking this path and to see whatever is waiting.

This post feels like it should come with it's own soundtrack. I suggest Amos Lee to take the edge off. Or for anyone who watched Grey's Anatomy last night, Kendall Payne's "Scratch" would go nicely. (Although the lyrics when read alone come out a little sad.) My copy from Amazon isn't here yet but I'm told you can get it on iTunes. I've been trying to think of what this song reminds me of and it's one of the early productions of A Maze of Grace. That show haunted me from the first rehearsal to the final curtain. How interesting that it haunts me again now.

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