Sunday, May 07, 2006

going california


It's just two weeks now until I head off to California to celebrate getting old and being young. Good times await. I decided that if I was going south, I might as well have the hair to go with it so RuthAnn and I headed into the city to get me some highlights. This is the second time I've been blonder for the summer (at least this year I've headed off all of the post a picture comments). I am expecting to have more fun. (I'm going to Disneyland, how could I not?)

I was quite proud of myself this year for not freaking out. One of the things I have learned about myself is that the reason I don't tend to deal with change well is that I see change as loss. When things change, even when it's a good change, I feel it first as a loss and I mourn for what was. (Earth that was for the Firefly fans :) There's a line in a song from the early 90s that says "All I want is what I had before" and it runs through my head sometimes when change comes and I just want to make everything stop and go back to the way it was.

Last year when I dyed my hair I struggled a bit with the "different-ness" of the experience, this year I'm pleased that I was able to look in the mirror and say "it's different and I like it". Baby steps, baby steps. Maybe one of these days I'll actually move the furniture around in my room.

Maybe this is the real celebration of getting a little older -- that I'm better able to see the world around me with clarity. Maybe this is my gift to myself, finally believing what my brother said to me years ago -- "Change isn't always bad Claire, it's just different." Getting older might not be so bad after all. Especially if you get to go to California.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Whooohooo Claire looking good!

Its different but great.

Love Mom XX

Katinka said...

Well said :)

Hope you take lots of pics of California!

JAnie & DAve said...

I love the blonde! I am going to try an convince dave that we should dye our hair this summer. Even if he isn't interested i still might throw some brilliant blonde in my short do! It will grow out so quickly it will hardly matter!

Happy Happy disney land to you! Enjoy the rides, enjoy the food, the fun, the games, the princesses, and of course, the princes!!! Tee hee. We hope you can find some bloggin time while down there so we can check out photos! Sorry we haven't had a chance to upload all our onto flickr yet. I still plan to do that, but it is sorta at the bottom of the list!
Well, I am going to tidy up Corrina's room a bit while she naps! We finally have shelves to put up in her room; i am so excited, but first i better make the rest look nice!
Love Janie

ps. after viewing your lovely cheesecake picture last night dave and i proceeded to sit and think about all the yummy foods we wanted to eat: ice cream, chips, all sorts of cheesecake, timbits, chocolate bars... but we were too lazy to get anything, so we just sat and imagined. We are weird! Thanks for the sweet inspiration.
Love Janie

the salmon said...

you look great! happy 30 (that must be it right?!) enjoy california.

i struggle with bitterness sometimes, and there's a song by Mike Knott (one of my favorites) that says "and i love the bitterness" and it just reminds me to let it go and not love bitterness, because i really dont.

congratulations on the baby steps!
amanda

Katinka said...

Happy Birthday!!! :)

JAnie & DAve said...

Claire,

Howdy howdy! I was just wondering if you knew anything about flickr toys? Someone on someone's blog uses them and they look really neat. Also, i don't know how to look at your pictures or have you as a contact. I don't remeber half the stuff you taught me unfortunately. Let me know,
janie

Gail said...

Hey Claire, the blond looks great!
Change IS a good thing, after all, as the old saying goes...

"If you always to what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!"

Now you've got blond!
Have an absolutely fun time!!

westcoastloon said...

Hey Janie,

The best assortment of flickr toys I know of is on the Flagrant disregard site. It's got all sorts of cool things like collages and make your own mock motivational posters and stuff like that. The instructions are there for each toy, very easy to use. I didn't know much about these until I saw your commenet. I looked them up and now there's more to play with. Whoo hoo! Look for a flickr toy to make an appearance on this blog later today (or at least soonish).

Claire